Standing at the sink, unloading the dishwasher. I stare out at grey clouds and blue light and think of all of the ways that God has blessed our family, our community. I marvel at the communications I get daily from these lovely people...prayer request, praise reports, plans to meet and spend time. Time. Time is spent. You choose how you spend it. If only we had an account we could see with our eyes that showed us the balance trickling down with every choice we make. Will I spend these moments on gratitude? Will I spend them looking into the eyes of my children? Will I lose precious minutes staring at the computer screen, or will I spend them with my sweet husband? Either way, once they are spent, there is no getting them back.
I wash the counters and drift into thoughts of the future. We really cannot know how long we have here. How many days?
Dinner is in the crock pot now. I call the kids to feed them lunch and in my head I check off the things left "to do" in my day.
Clean the bathroom
Change the sheets
Fold the laundry
Work on photos(always more to do there)
Take a walk? The kids love that...that is a good use of time.
Standing at the sink in the early morning light, looking out at rain and waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. Stare out that window and think about the day ahead. Dogs shuffle around my feet hoping I am preparing food and crumbs will be in their reach soon. Coffee is done, *time* for quiet and devotional reading and just letting my brain finish waking up. After that, it will be *time* for exercise and a shower and the day will begin...will I choose to spend those moments gently? Or will I give in to the urgency to get things done and allow *time* to hijack my heart and mind until they are roaring down the tracks out of control?
Count out the pills and vitamins one by one, mine and theirs. Set the diffusers up for the day, pour the water, add the oil. Lights on, dogs know the day is coming now and the shuffling gains momentum. Give them their pills too. Wood floor crackles under my feet as I turn on lights and push in chairs.
Set up the toaster, set out the cups, pour the milk, grab the eggos from the freezer...the day is gaining momentum now.
Standing at the sink staring out...deep breath. Call the kids, negotiate clothing for the one who isn't quite able yet to do it all alone.
*Time* for breakfast. All of the thoughts that have stored up in their minds over night while we were apart are spilling out now in a rush. Is that because I rush? Deep breath, slow down. "Slow down honey, I am listening." Comb the hair, help with stubborn shirt sleeves. Direct em to the table between mouthfuls of words and a flurry of thoughts.
Breakfast is over, move on to the next thing...and the next and the next.
Fast forward. More time spent.
Standing at the sink, staring out at those clouds. Glad I got them out Monday while it was sunny! Load breakfast dishes into the dishwasher and wipe down counter tops. *Time* to feed the dogs, you'd think I had starved them! Break up a fight between kids, finish the kitchen mess and move to the vacuum to get a days dust and dog hair off of the floor. Call kids to the table to color/paint/play with sand/whatever it takes to stop the arguing.
Floor is clean. Kids are moving outside to play as the clouds broke up and the sun came out.
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Standing at the sink, staring out at my kids in the yard. Am I doing this right? Am I giving them what they need from me most? How do I break the chains we have already passed down to them? Where do I sign up to fight for their hearts? Stare at the glass jars in front of me, colors glowing in the sunlight...no cracks, a few chips...hoping we can love them well and teach them of their beauty. Help them learn to glow in the colors that only they can share with our world.
Break up another argument...this time over a ball. "Time to come in, lets find something else to do!"
Clean the bathroom, change the laundry, check dinner in the crock pot.
Braid the girly's hair, *getting low on the spray, need to mix up a new batch*, brush teeth, find socks, help with her jacket. The bus will be here any moment. She wants to pick flowers and mess with the bees out front. We sit on the wall and sort rocks instead. The bus arrives and takes her away to another day with her friends at school. A break from our home life. She looks forward to these breaks. "Is it preschool today mommy?" ...there is always a smile when I say "yes, there is preschool today honey."
Wave goodbye, blow kisses, watch the bus pull away. Turn back to the house...we really need to get moving on the repairs. But, this is not the moment for that. One foot in front of the other back in through the door. Maybe we will take a walk now.
Standing at the sink staring out at blue skies. Gratitude washes over me as I look at the bright colors of our play set in the sunlight. Watch the dogs chase and bark and play. My son is sitting at the table eating lunch and singing a song he made up in his head. My mind turns to thoughts of his future...I hope the song never leaves him.
Time to change sheets. Time spent.
Standing at the sink staring out at the colors of sunset stretching across the sky. Dinner is over, kids are downstairs watching a show together and(for the moment) not fighting. Dogs have been fed, Dishes are done. Wipe the counters and note the creak in our newish kitchen floor. Shouldn't' be creaking so soon. Another day is wrapping up. I need to find clean pajamas and get ready to cover the bedtime routine soon.
Stories and kisses and giggles and blankets. Lights out. I love you. Goodnight, sweet dreams!
Standing at the sink, staring out at the black and the few lights left on by neighbors late into the night. Tomorrow is another day. Am I doing it right? Am I loving them enough? Do they know how amazing they are? I hope they know how amazing they are...
Check the doors, check the kids, watch the sweet sleeping faces for a few seconds and lift prayers to Abba for them.
Lights out. Time to pray over our home for the night. Sleep is coming. Tomorrow is another day.
Time spent. Hopefully time well spent.