Fear or fascination?

So, I got to thinking today(yeah, yeah, brace yourself!lol!)...I have always thought of my "need to know" my curiosity about how God is going to do "this or that"...my constant unconscious efforts to solve the puzzle of His plans was a lack of faith...fear. And, maybe sometimes it is...I am certainly not immune!  But, it hit me today, it isn't always fear...in fact, it isn't often fear, because that would imply a lack of faith...and when it comes down to it, when I stop and think, I know that I know that I know that I know that He is in control, loves me and is working on my behalf...for my ultimate good. I really believe that. What I am pondering is whether or NOT He is actually behind something I think I see happening in my life...and whether or not He will do it one way or another...or a way that I haven't even thought of, can't comprehend?! It is fascinating! I am fascinated by Him...I love the way He thinks(in as much as I can comprehend it! Which ain't much, but it doesn't take much for my teeny tiny finite brain!) I love the way He works in our lives...and how He pulls everything together. I love knowing that He has got this. And, I love that nothing is impossible with Him! Nothing what so ever! And, my mind grapples with the various possibilities. Sometimes I wear myself out trying to fit the pieces together. But, usually...I just come back to the same old realization that in His timing, I will know everything that I need to know. And it will all fall into place, without struggle, or strain. 

So, I am sitting here, looking at the various "nudges" and "signs", for lack of a better word, that Kelly and I have picked up on recently...and, we are seriously starting to wonder if God may be planning to send another daughter our way...actually, we think He is. So, here we go...I wonder who she is? I wonder what she will look like? I wonder if she will like play dough, or coloring books, or puzzles and stories? I wonder how He will bring her to us(if, in fact, this is what He is doing). I wonder when...I wonder what her name is? I just wonder...about all of it. 

So, in the end...when it comes to the question of whether it is fear, or fascination...fascination wins! I am simply fascinated with the way He moves. I love His Mind. And, whatever it is He has planned for our family...I am all in!