Here we go...hand in hand! I feel so excited! So scared! Mixed emotions all around...and all of it wrapped up in a sort of disbelief...I am actually working on an adoption application! If you had asked me 15 years ago if I had ever thought I would be doing that, I would probably have told you no...in fact, 15 years ago, all I could think about was getting pregnant again...I had just lost a baby that past September and I was completely devastated...it is so strange to think that if God continues to open doors like He has been, I will have a daughter someday! Wow...a girly-Q...our sweetheart...so amazing! I wonder where she is...I wonder who she is...who she's with...is she born yet? What color are her eyes...her hair...how old is she? I wonder...and wonder and wonder...and I dream and dream and dream...we spoke today of nursery/bedroom colors for her room...and looked at how we might decorate it...we spoke of names and dreams and what every day life will be like with her here...it's scary...cause we don't know exactly *how* she will come to us...will we end up doing a private adoption? Will we find that Foster-to-adopt is God's plan for us? I confess, a part of me is really hoping for a baby...I would love the opportunity to do that once again...to be the one holding her at 3am when all of the world is asleep...I want to work each day at taking things one moment at a time...and really enjoy her! I want to get down on the floor and look at the world from her perspective...I want to feel the weight of her against my chest (in a front pack) while I get those things done that I must do...I would love that...yep, even diapers...I would love to do diapers again!LOL! Too funny to think that...but, the world looks very different at this stage of my life. It's taken me this long to learn what really matters. So, I fill out pages and pages of paperwork and research the classes we will take...and trust that God knows what is best for every single step of the way...we will someday have the child that God intended for us to have and to love...He knows exactly what we need and what she needs!
Let the dreams begin!
January 17, 2011
Prayer Requests:
Please pray...
That God will continue to help us hear His voice and seek His face...
That we will see open doors for exactly what they are...and that He will give us the courage to walk through them......and closed doors for exactly what they are, as well...at which point, we may need the strength to walk away from that door and move on...
That we will find favor in the application process...not only in the approval, but all of the steps along the way...that it will be as straightforward as it can be.
That our little girl, wherever she is, is safe and knows the comfort of Jesus right by her side.
That God will start now to prepare the hearts of everyone who will be involved in this process.
That God will grant us the Grace and peace to take this all as it comes and enjoy it!
Thanks for stopping by!
Much love
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Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts! I look forward to reading your perspective! Blessings, Jeanene